Remember back in the day…

• Complete and total submission.
• Never lying to Me, ever. And that includes half-truths.
• Doing everything possible to make Me happy, placing My happiness before your own.
• Waiting patiently, for as long as needed.
• Asking for clarification of a command, if needed, but never questioning it or questioning Me. Communicating clearly and honestly, but never making demands. That means if a problem does come up, asking to speak with Me about it.
• Calling Me by whatever title I chose. Always speaking with respect.
• Being humble and having humility. Knowing your place.
• Being thankful. For everything.
• Accepting responsibility for mistakes or disobedience, and accepting whatever punishment I deem necessary, learning from it and never repeating it again. Knowing that the worst punishment is the knowledge that I am disappointed or displeased.
• Giving yourself completely and willingly to Me and allowing Me to do anything I want with your body and mind. The greatest happiness you can achieve is knowing that you have pleased Me.
• Knowing that you should not demand My attention, your job is to be there for Me whenever I need, and waiting patiently at the ready when you are not needed.
• Willing to learn how to act, how to speak, what to do.
• Trusting Me completely, trusting Me with your life. Knowing that this is where you belong, that this is what you were meant to do.
• Cherishing My collar.
• Never betraying My trust.
• Giving Me all that you can. Knowing that you are Mine, you are completely owned by Me.
• your only choice becomes to obey Me, My happiness becomes your own, My needs and desires you live to fulfill.
• Learning to go beyond what you thought possible, to do more and become better.
• Being truthful with yourself and learning what you want and what you need.
• Above all I am a person, have feelings, needs and desires. There will be days when I am happy, and days when I am grumpy. There will be days when I want to do a lot, and days when I am tired. you must be there for Me no matter what. Doing whatever I want, letting Me do whatever I want to you. Caring for Me when I do not feel well, and understanding when I am in a bad mood.

Yeah….good times.   *sigh*

And I fail.

I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of you. You ARE a good boy. You ARE my princess. I read everything you wrote and while I am sorry that you got sick, I am so happy that you did exactly what you were told. I couldn’t ask for more.

I know that you wouldn’t want me to do something stupid like drive home in the state that I was in and I hope that you will understand that. I failed you and for that I am sorry.  The long and short of it was that I was stuck.

Sometimes, being a person who needs to make things better for those you love can only be attained by having a fighting spirit.
I get it.

However, there is a time and place for everything and you need to learn where that boundary lies when it comes to Me.

You say you are a good boy, a good girl…show Me. Show Me that you don’t need to be punished tonight.

Stop fighting with Me.

I didn’t think of the difference between girl and boy things until you talked to me about them one day and said that you would do things for me like wear a pink bra. I decided that I didn’t want you one way or the other. I know that it is confusing. I had to have time to think about it myself.

When I think about what a good boy does, it is always sexual to me and because I hate boring and stereotypical behavior, good boy actions are ones that boys wouldn’t normally like. Getting fucked in the ass, eating cum, sucking a cock, being completely submissive - these are all things that a good boy would do. Why? Stepping outside of the boundaries of what is considered ‘normal’ and performing these actions for me is exceptional. Saying that you are a good boy is not something handed out lightly. A good boy always does what they are told and they are expected to do the things that other boys wouldn’t.

When I think about what a good girl does, it is always something that a girl would ‘normally’ do. Is this confusing enough for you yet? It makes sense to me. A good girl looks pretty, smells nice, wears a cute pink bra, wears a nice skirt with stockings, talks about feelings and all the emo things that I love. Good girls, like good boys, always do what they are told and are expected to do the things that other girls would.

Why are good boys good for things that boys don’t like and why are good girls good for things that girls should do? It’s all about stepping over the line of normal. I can get a boy to fuck me and tell me nice things and worship me but that is boring. I am more interested in a boy that shows how devoted he is by putting a cock in his mouth and giving a slow satisfying blow job or one that bends over and takes my cock in their ass while wearing a pink bra. To me that is more important because it requires a lot of trust to perform those actions. To fuck me, to say nice things, those things can be done by anyone. Do you see the difference? I want some sacrifice, not obligatory actions. A boy doing things that a girl should do? That steps over that same line and makes him a good girl.

Good boy actions are associated with sex in my mind because that is what I am more attracted to right now sexually. This may change as my needs change though and while I understand your confusion, I will expect you to go with the flow. I of course will tell you if something changes.

So, what do good boys do?
- Good boys like anal and take my cock in their ass
- Good boys like blow jobs. Not receiving them, but giving them. And good boys enjoy having me watch
- Good boys eat cum. Whether they lick it off or cum on their food, they eat every last drop of it. When giving a blow job, they always swallow, after of course showing me that the cum is in their mouth
- Good boys always make sure that I know how important I am
- Good boys don’t argue, they do what they are told, no matter what. There is no ‘within reason’ because you agreed to be obedient and were given the choice once and chose to be submissive

And, what do good girls do?
- Good girls keep themselves in shape and take care of their bodies
- Good girls talk about how things make them feel
- Good girls always wear pink
- Good girls are always attentive and never let me forget how important I am
- Good girls keep a clean house and make sure that every mess is immediately cleaned up and that their clothes are always folded neatly when removed

What do good girls and good boys have in common? Punishment. It doesn’t matter if you have broken good boy rules or good girl rules, the punishment will be the same in either case. No infraction is above another. Do you remember punishment? I am going to start holding you to these standards and expecting you to be both a good girl and a good boy.

Which do I like better? Neither. I want the best of both worlds and have been getting that from you. You are perfect in all the right places and I want you to stay that way.

Remember that these things can change and I promise you that I will always tell you when they do.

Just because…

I wanted you to see the cute pink Hello Kitty pajama pants.

When I made you stop and turn over and lie on your stomach, denying even the overwhelming urge to hump the bed…how did that feel? I wanted you to feel the same torture I felt over wanting so badly to enter you, fill you up.

I hope that it felt as torturous as driving home and resisting the urge to put my hand down my panties and fill my own space. Couldn’t scare My carpool companion.

I came quietly up the stairs to my bed the moment I got home, sliding My panties off halfway up the stairs. Everyone was asleep. I closed the door and got into bed, lying on My stomach. I pictured you falling asleep like that, lying on your stomach, wanting so bad to grind your hips into your mattress. I started to grind my own hips into the mattress…

Turning over, I remembered your breathing in My ears while you were jacking off for Me, doing just as you were told. My mind wrapped back to our conversation about the powerful feeling of being attached to a cock and having a soft cock get hard in your mouth.
You’re such a little slut.  >.<

I put two fingers in My cunt and and pushed them in and out, rubbing My clit with My thumb. I stopped Myself right before I was going to cum so I could prolong the insane feeling of being on the edge. I turned My head so I could see Myself in the mirror and started fucking again. It didn’t take long for My orgasm to build up and I let it go, cumming and cumming.
•••••

Can you believe that you let 24 hours pass without commenting on the blog?
You know that bad boys get punished.

]]> http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/2008/05/03/torture/feed/ http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/2008/05/02/poetic/ http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/2008/05/02/poetic/#comments Fri, 02 May 2008 11:07:58 +0000 codyslaveblog http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/?p=65

The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.

•••••••••

It seems that we lived in one room. A perfect bed, with perfect sheets, with perfect pillows, warm blankets and a big window. People were walking by, sometimes stopping to look at us..talking, sleeping.

We lie next to each other, on our backs, side by side and talk about how it feels to be part of one another. How you are an asshole and I am a bitch. I roll to my side to look at you and take your hands and slide your wrists into cold steel cuffs. I raise your hands over your head, secure them to the headboard with rope and sit on top of you. You tell me that it is torture to not touch me when I am that close to you and I smile. I move off of you and walk to the window to watch the people walking by and occasionally look back at you on the bed waiting patiently for me like a good slave.

I know, you say, ‘Wow, that is rather bland’. No, it isn’t bland, because every time I look at you, your eyes are closed and you are completely content and I feel so accomplished. When I thought about the dream later, I realized that there was no crazy drawn out sexual episode, which is how most of my dreams are. This dream was centered around your being happily restrained and my satisfaction.

After standing by the window, I come back to you and stretch out next to you, with my back against you, just barely touching. You lie there, with your hands still tied above your head, restrained and happy. You inch your body towards mine and move your head so that it is touching mine. You hold your breath a moment because you know you did something without getting permission. I allow you this though because it feels so good for me. And then? And then…

And then we go to sleep. You may think that dream is nothing much and wonder why it affected me so. The important thing is, I know why it did.

]]> http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/2008/05/02/poetic/feed/ http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/intensity/ http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/intensity/#comments Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:16:12 +0000 codyslaveblog http://yesmistress.wordpress.com/?p=63

I may or may not have cum while looking at this picture and purchasing this item…